How to Find Your Purpose & Stick To It
Everyone has preferences, you know?That’s what makes us unique. Some of us prefer baseball. Some of us prefer symphonies or UFC or dog parks. We’re all a little different and that’s okay. Something I typically don’t prefer is when people glorify their own hardships. Bloggers who have eating disorders tell others how to get thinner; how they did it, what to eat, how they work out… and then bust out a sad saga story when they feel down. Successful business folk will educate people on winning over clients, getting ahead, making more money; but they’re actually miserable (whether or not they share about it.) People with broken relationships are giving relationship advice left and right. I mean, the list can go on and on. You and I are so eager and quickto jump on social media and “tell everyone the real truth,” you know?I’ve seen it so many times. “Y’all, I just want to be real with you, life is hard, I struggle with this, I’ve fallen down, I can’t do X, I told you I would do Y and then I let you down.”
We feed off of this stuff.
We love to see the demise. We love to know the secrets and we love to see that people are cold, hard, raw, humans just like us. If they don’t show it, we assume, we presume that all of the misery is happening behind the scenes.
This brings me to a little chat I want to have with you all.
No matter what job you do, no matter what industry you’re in.
With social media, it’s hard not to bear it all. It’s hard not to just share everything, it really is. We want to be “real” and “honest” and “forthcoming” and 100% transparent. We want to share our whole lives, the inside, the outside, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
What I’m here to tell you is that you don’t have to.
You don’t have to.
If you have a purpose, let’s say that is to… idk, share your daily outfits?
You don’t need to spill your personal life. People may want to know and people may wonder, but it doesn’t mean you have to tell them.
(This is an extreme side note, but still related)
When Lady Gaga was first “rising to fame,” I watched a documentary on her talking about the Art of Fame. She saw it all as a game, a challenge, a formula. She would wear meat dresses and outrageous heels and do all sorts of nonsense STRICTLY to keep eyes off of her personal life and on the things that she could control. Pretty genius, huh?
The moral of the story is that she had a purpose with her exposure. If she was going to be in the spotlight, she was going to be intentional.
The goal of my Instagram has wavered, but I’ve settled on 1-2 things for my personal agenda there;
Entertain
Inspire
I can entertain by way of the funny, random stories I tell, the random content I generate, the outfits, the outrageous interactions with my friends, and even the dumb dance moves. I can inspire by way of the “somewhat” creative outfits, makeshift makeup, or adventurous life I live. All in all, I want my platform to be a place for me to freely create and share my life with you all, but not my whole life.
There are parts of me, parts of my life, parts of my art, parts of my relationship, and parts of my family that I truly do not ever wish to share. Not in an Instagram caption. Not in a blog post. Not in a novel. It doesn’t mean I’m not strong and it doesn’t mean I’m not fully real, it just means that I have boundaries.
As weird as this is, people sometimes don’t know what they’re missing out on until you show them. There are influencers who share very little of their personal life and people follow them for something completely different and… it’s just totally okay.
I see SO many bloggers “hop on Insta story” and start with “sorry I’ve been MIA lately but I’ve been going through XYZ,” acting like people are on the edge of their seats, SO devastated that they didn’t record their stupid meal prep that day.
If you happen to be in the business of exposing yourself (and it could even be in a professional position, it doesn’t necessarily have to do with social media), then I encourage you to create a framework you feel comfortable in and then stick to it.
For me, I choose what I want my followers to see and know. As much as it may seem a bit frantic and all-over-the-place at times, it really is specific. Very freaking specific.
When I’m having a bad day, I try not to bring people down with me.
When I’m going through an extreme trial in my life, I try to get through it and then talk about it later. I LOVE to share my war stories of how I overcame something, grew, or battled something… but I don’t want people to agonize with me.
This, however, is the way I do it… and it doesn’t have to be the way YOU do it.
All I would encourage you to do, as a creative, entrepreneur, or influencer,is to be intentional.
At the end of the day, people recharge in completely different ways. 9/10 people I know think I’m an extrovert when I’m a complete and total introvert. If you were to give me a day with no people or a day with 1,000, I would choose to be alone. I like to do my thing, create my art, and relax by myself. Anyways, this might be beside the point, but I just want you to know why I’m so passionate about this message.
You don’t have to spill it all.
You don’t need to post about every woe and every win.
You don’t need to tell your coworkers about your personal shiz. You just don’t. You can, and there’s nothing wrong with it… but you shouldn’t feel pressured to.
If you take anything away from this, it’s that in my experience, you will be much happier and healthier if you create and stick to boundaries. You don’t have to be an open book. You don’t have to feel guilty for delivering your professional tasks without extra BS. You can do you, without losing yourself.
Just my thoughts for the day, take them or leave them!
Xo
Chelsea
