How to Love Yourself Despite Changing Appearances
There is a huge difference between negative self-talk and constructive self-talk.
Being “constructive” in regards to your health, work, art, or person is OKAY. How are you ever going to GROWif you can’t step outside yourself and do a lil’ analyzing? However, letting that voice own you, destroy you, or control you is simply unacceptable!
So, in this short one-week journey of working with a trainer, I’ve identified a few things that I really needed / need to improve upon. The key is, I didn’t go to the trainer because I hated my body or the way I eat or my lifestyle or my gym experience. I actually ate pretty dang healthy before and worked out 5x per week. I simply felt like what I was doing wasn’t producing results and I needed an expert to come in and help. I know that people say that Social Media gives everyone this false sense of what beautiful is and yes, of course! Shoot, Marilyn Monroe started this craze long before computers and social media. In fact, this whole “beauty shaped by culture” thing has been around for centuries. Anyhow, I wanted to make it VERY CLEARthat I did not get a trainer because I thought I was “fat”. I did not get a trainer because I hate what I have “done” to my body.
Let me unravel this sentiment a bit.
I know SO many women who stop being themselves when they gain weight. They disappear from Instagram & stop posting. They ghost facebook, maybe even temoporarily delete it. They stop going to parties. They don’t want to join their friends for tennis. They wear baggy clothes. They find ways to self medicate.
WHAT? Okay, ever since the dawn of time my weight will go up and down by about 15 lbs every year and if I stopped living because of it, it would kill me. And it DOES kill me to see girls do this. This year, I stepped ahead in so many areas of my life. I really excelled and I’m proud of it. BUT, I didn’t make health the priority I should’ve and it caught up with me a bit. The funny thing is, the best thing is, I didn’t even notice. Not that it’s TERRIBLEto notice when you gain a few pounds. Trust me, that way is much easier to undo… but I was so busy being myself and rocking whatever I had that I just simply didn’t care! I didn’t stop taking photos. I didn’t stop going out. I didn’t stop wearing clothes I loved. I didn’t refrain from coffee dates and lunch dates and Facetime dates(there are people who even forsake THOSE when they gain weight). Anyhow, I’m proud of it. I know this is the generation that promotes, loves, idolizes, and puts being “curvy” on a pedestal, and I think that you should love your body, whatever it looks like… but I also believe that it’s okay to be unhappy with it. It’s okay to step back and say, “somethings not right, I’m not at my best” and then evaluate…reevaluate… and make changes.
Being perfect is not the goal.
Being healthy and being happy with the amount of care and love you put into being healthy is the goal. Trust me, if you think a “thigh gap” is what matters in life, you’re truly disturbed and completely off track. The end result of your body (when doing what is best for it) is NOT the point.
Being the healthiest that YOU can be is the point. Doing what is truly BEST for YOU is the point.
I realized that I wasn’t making health a top priority, so I wanted to change it. You always have that option too.
I just want to stress that just because something happens to you, for you, of you, because of you …that you don’t prefer, doesn’t mean you need to stop being yourself because of it. No one is going to love you less for breaking out in acne, gaining some weight, chopping off your hair unintentionally, losing your job, getting a huge curling iron scar across your face, nothing! IF you are loved by the right people, they love you for your SOUL. Nothing more. Nothing less.
All I want is to encourage you to continue to be yourself (so, so cliché, I know) even when things aren’t working out like you had hoped.
Keep posting selfies. Keep shopping. Keep pressing on. None of us care that you haven’t lost the baby weight. None of us care that your house is a mess in the back of your photo. Oh, and those people that do care, don’t worry about them… the universe will take care of that!
Until next time,
