Best Practices for Designing Your Ideal Life
Your life is essentially the “essence” of your choices. You may not have chosen your “nature”, your family, or your place of birth… but by the time you’re 16, your autonomy is already ripe and it’s up to you to start plugging down the right path.
So, this life, it’s ours? We own it? Yes. We do. It’s the accumulation of thousands of little choices that all “add up” to what we bring to the table. Our body, our mind, our relationships. Our bank account, our car, the place we clock in and out of. It’s all up to us.
Scary, huh?
Actually, no. So, when you finally accept the fact that YOU own it, you can no longer blame others for your circumstances. Yes, there are always random acts of God (or Satan) that lead us down paths we did not want anything to do with… but for the most part; YOU OWN IT.
So what is this all about? You might ask.
This is about CONTROL. Controlling your own future.
I’ve found there are generally two types of people in this world.
+Those who withstand massive amounts of abuse and just keep plugging.
+Those who will not take ANY abuse and become extremely flighty.
Well, let’s talk about a way that you can find a balance and WHY.
No matter what you do,life is not going to be easy. I mean, if the lottery made you happy… why does everyone who wins end up miserable!? It’s not about wealth or things or stuff or beauty. You can have it ALL and still be unhappy. So let’s tear apart that word for a bit.
Happy. Why does everyone just want to be “happy?” I feel like “joy” should be the real word we are aiming for. Joy is authentic. Joy is internal. Joy is deeper than just “having a good time” and “everything going your way.”
So, at the end of the day… how can we find that balance? How can we experience real joy?
Back to “choices”
I think that it all comes down to priorities.
You have 100 choices every day and you STILL need to prioritize those actions.
Do you wake up early and go for a run?
Do you go out less so you can drive a nicer car?
Do you leave work early so you can watch the Bachelor?
Do you sacrifice 10% of your income so you can retire someday?
So. Many. Choices.
So, like, what does this even mean, Chels?
Well, I wanted to show you something that I’ve found is REALLY practical in getting your life straight and really channeling it… making it the best life you can live.
Here is an exercise.
Write down 10 pain points on a piece of paper.
What 10 things do you hate/abhor in your life? What annoys you? What stops you from progressing? What is holding you back?
First, just list them all out and then slowly start to prioritize them.
So for me, about 1.5 years ago, my job was the WORST ONE. I felt sick to my stomach every time I left work. I felt sick to my stomach that I had to go back to that job the next day. It was THE WORST. I knew that THAT was the biggest pain point. It was number one. So I examined it. What did I really not like about it? I figured out that the lack of flexibility and the LONG hours (not like I don’t like working a lot of hours… just not in a row with no breaks, like, I was looked down upon for going out to lunch, people), yes, the long hours was the part that got me the worst. It wasn’t even the content of what I was doing in the job, it was just the schedule. I have a lot of trouble sleeping and I have for quite some time so having a bit more flexibility to sleep in if I need or run to an appointment or go to the coast or work at a coffee shop or be alone… I mean the list goes on and on…. THAT was my biggest pain point.
SO, what did I do? I took a part time job. 9-2. Still a schedule, but not that bad. I had a lot of time to do my THANG. Build my business. Do gigs and photoshoots. Blog. My day job was not fulfilling in THE LEAST BIT, but at least it gave me something stable. So, I addressed my pain point. I also strategically moved into a cheap apartment knowing that I’d be making a lot less money (little did I know that would become my next pain point! Ha!). Even though I wasn’t obsessed with the job I was doing… I was still 10000x happier NOT having those long dreadful hours. Okay, so then, my next pain point was income. I just needed more. The part time gig was like, poverty line income and photo/video wasn’t cutting it either. I started looking for contract work and slowly but surely got myself up to 4-5 clients. I’m still on the hunt for a few more… but it’s like, the best thing ever for me. I have 95% flexibility and I’m doing TONS of different things throughout the week. I never get tired of coworkers cause quite frankly, I DON’T SEE THEM ENOUGH! I have enough consistent work each day that I feel like my day is meaningful and holds purpose. I feel like I use my gifts enough. I feel like I’m working on things I care about! So.. back to the “ever evolving” pain points. What is my pain point now that I’ve “essentially” made it, in my mind?
Structure. Ambiguity. Necessity. Income.
STRUCTURE. I still need to figure out a way to become more productive. Whether it’s WeWork or a set wake up time or co working with someone, I need to figure it out!
AMBIGUITY. Any of my clients could suddenly drop me and I would be screwed. I don’t have enough clients to lose any of them at the moment. That makes me anxious. So, what should I do? Well, get more clients! Ha!
NECESSITY. Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is the necessity of each client. So not only am I feeling consistently replaceable, but I need each of these gigs to survive. That’s not a good feeling, as what if I start to not like one? I’ll have to stay. Solution; get more gigs!
INCOME. Truth be told I just need 2-3 more streams of income for me to feel completely good.
Okay, so I’ve identified my current pain point. The good thing is that I keep annihilating my pain points and by doing that my life is significantly improving.
Okay, so the next thing I did was write down 10 things that were essential to my “happiness”.
Trevor? Portland? Family? Creativity? Etc. etc.
This will help you access whether or not your life choices are leading you to these things or not.
So, I’m no expert- but these are all just things I’ve learned in the process of growing, maturing, and becoming completely self-employed and autonomous! If you’re interested in learning more about this whole thing, let me know and I’ll dive deeper.
In the end, you need to do what’s best for you (so cliché but true) and there is probably something in your life that is causing you strife. What is it? Go after it and kick it in the butt! You may not hit every single pain point… but you can surely make moves in the right direction somehow, someway.
Until next time,
PS My shirt is SO adorable, little red lips all over it! From Marshall's. Skirt is Good American!
PHOTOS BY MY LOVELY LEASING AGENT JULIAN, you da best.
