Life talk. Goals, Thoughts, & Truths
In every space, every exhibition, every feat, every journey, there comes a time in that stride where you unintentionally step back and examine your efforts. You look around and either feel like a hamster, spinning a wheel round and round, a runner, sprinting the never ending sprint, or maybe a butterfly, drifting around at one of those “other” stages, you know, the cocoon or caterpillar.. the phases that will get you there someday. If you don’t occasionally roam into one of these existential crises, then, good for you, you’re superhuman. For the rest of us, though, we wander.
Life sometimes feels like a project, an unfinished project with no due date and no professor. Where do we turn this all in when we’re done? Will I pass? How do I get extra credit? This group assignment sucks.
We live in a complex; a vast paradox of complacent shrugs and anxious doubt, constantly unsatisfied by happenings, finished or unfinished. “THIS CAN’T BE IT,” we mutter to ourselves.
We have choices; some are nature, some we nurture. We have actions; some are easy, some destroy us. We have memories; some are bittersweet, some disturbingly savory. What does it all mean?
*Oh, God. Is this really me? Did I down too much wine and come out a philosopher? No.*
We all just want to make a dent, right?
People can claim a LOT of “things”, yeah?
I’m finally there.
I’m successful.
I’m happy.
I’m changed.
I’m just better, better than you even.
But like, their story doesn’t matter.
What’s YOURS?
If anything, in this life, I want to accomplish two things.
ONE, to have been ever evolving (preferably in the direction of my choice) and
TWO, to die with a plethora of good, meaningful, beautiful, deep relationships with the people I love.
If those two needs are met, then, folks, I will have arrived.
Each day we are faced with the tiny things, the tiny things that build and build until they’re monstrous chunks of our lives. Little by little, they’ll chip away at us or they’ll construct something worthwhile, who knows.
Well, shit. You think this is melancholy, it’s not! It’s just raw, unadulterated hope in a simple, unique form.
We all do ALL of this for something, right?
(***k, chels, like, get to the point***)
Okay, so, I sat down to write a blog on direction, on “niching down” and finding your unique, individual voice. That thing that will set you apart and help you WIN. So many voices in so many places tell you to DO something or BE something and THEN, THEN FINALLY, you will make it. You’ll get there. I’m sorry, but tonight, I’m just going to write. I don’t care about selling you some dumb product you’ll never use. I don’t care about showing you some cliché rooftop in this tiny city. I just care about the truth. It won’t always be like this, no. But today, it will.
The truth is I have no idea what I’m even doing. I just make it up, I always have.
Confidence is a conditioned skill, you know?
Anyways, if you’re reading this, you’re a part of my journey and I am SO, so thankful for you. Whatever you’re going through, just know… if you can do it around people you love, it’s all worth it. It’s worth every inch.
Okay, well, this 5 hour layover and 5 hours of flying has left me with this blog,
Hope you enjoyed something a little different, cause it’s all I got!
Xoxo
MUCH LOVE,
chels
