Why Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do
Powerful Words. Last week, I visited my Dad (who had just had a small eye procedure and was resting at home) while dropping off some “things” at my “storage unit” AKA my parent’s basement. (Sorry, Mom! Will clean it out soon!)I wanted to touch on a few things we chatted about in our midday conversation.
In the last 5 years, I’ve bounced around a bit. I’m generally a happy person, but finding a job that made me feel satisfiedhas been a challenge. I tried Finance for a few years, Marketing, and of course Photography. I had a part time job, a grueling full time job, no job, my own company work, etc. Let’s just say it’s been all over the place.
I am constantly at war with the expectations of my friends and family when it comes to my career. Realistically, I majored in Accounting because it was “the best thing to do”… not because I thought it would be a good fit for me in my vocation. I am SUCH a people pleaser and it pangs me to let people down; especially my family.
Let me give you some background.
My family is full of accountants, doctors, lawyers, CEOs, teachers, missionaries, pastors, and small business owners. I remember my parents saying that they just hoped that I would do something “meaningful with my work.”
Those are all big shoes to fill.
Quite frankly, this year, I’ve realized that I need to stop worrying about trying to live up to their idea of what I should be and/or do, and do what’s best for me.
Back to this convo with my Dad.
I recently accepted a job at a high end jewelry store (not naming names, for I want to keep my blog/insta separate). I’ve had a few comments; hurtful comments. “How long will you be there?” “Oh, so it’s more than JUST selling jewelry?” Blah, blah, blah. Yes, I get it, it’s retail. I’ve never worked in retail, but I’m really excited for this new opportunity.
When mentioning these concerns to my Dad, he started comforting me with this notion; Who You ARE Matters More Than What You Do. My dad was a pastor and a chaplain for 30 years, providing thousands of people with love, help, and guidance… then one day, he woke up and he wanted to be a bus driver. He wanted something simple, less emotionally taxing, and something he could enjoy in retirement. He has a doctorate! It took the people around him a while to realize that his “job” doesn’t define him or how good of a person he is. His happiness is the most important thing and he finally did something just for him, to make himself happy. As his daughter, I’m proud of him. I’ve seen him light up in a different way the last few years, doing something that really fits this time in his life.
He also mentioned that people just need Hope, Peace, Purpose, and Community… and as long as you have those things, you’re heading the right direction.
How many times do you meet someone and immediately go towards “what do you do for work?” It’s just become a culture that CRAVES judgment when it comes to career. How about other questions like, “so what do you love spending your time doing?”
Anywho, this convo was really good for me to hear.
The last year I’ve really struggled. I know that on the outside, it looks like everything is perfect whilst throwing $10,000 galas, galivanting around the world, and doing big things… but in reality, it’s been all over the place.
Without structure, it’s been near impossible for me to NOT gain weight. Without community (coworkers), it’s been hard to grow in my leadership and communication skills. Without benefits, it’s been incredibly expensive to survive ($500 a month just for my health insurance as an independent contract worker). Without stability, it’s been hard to save and the anxiety of losing clients and gigs creeps up and eats at you daily. In the first month of the year, I made nearly $16,000 and then the next month… it went down to $1,000 (for some perspective). The highs and lows and inconsistency make it hard to plan, save, and enjoy life. There’s nowhere to move up. The real benefit is flexibility, but then again, there’s something magical about feeling accomplished and having accountability.
At the end of the day, I just wasn’t being challenged by running my own Marketing business. I was doing tons of social media (pointless posting!) and constantly felt like I wasn’t “learning” anything new because I was just producing work that I already knew how to do.
When it comes to the blog, I realized that it’s just not me to talk about products all day. I want it to be an outlet for me to express my true life and all the creative things within it… not drown your feed with annoying paid advertisements.
All in all, I started March with an empty, helpless feeling and then it was topped off by moving and breaking up a 3 year long relationship.
I’m just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Quite literally, things come in waves, and when it rains it pours… but there is always a rainbow. That rainbow hit June 1st.
So, when I was interviewing for my new job, I have to tell you this. I was 100% honest with every single thing I said. When they asked what I wanted in a job, I didn’t have to make up nonsense that I loved finance or was interested in Admin or didn’t hate sitting at a desk or wanted XYZ. It was fully and truly SUCH a good fit. There is plenty of opportunity to make TONS of money, provide customers with SUCH a special purchase (that they’ll most likely have the rest of their life, AND work on a great team of people. This is what I need. This is what is best for me. Yes.. it will completely diminish my weekends and travel and flexibility… but at the end of the day,I need to be pushed to realize life IS NOT all about having fun… it’s about building character and perservering though whatever life throws at you.
Anywho.. if you’re interested in visiting me in the store, send me a private message and I’ll let you know.
Until then,
Thank you for reading!
Xo
Chels
